reality sucks.
moving on.

i give up.. say what you want to say. i dont need to add more stress into my life right now. rant all you want, but know this;

my relationship with him is not the reason why we are so far apart. its just keadaan. im busy trying to catch up in my studies and yeah, alright, getting into a relationship might not be helping me. (bitter laughter) it sure does look that im giving EXCUSES right? well, im not. night study, extra lessons, remedials BLAH BLAH BLAH sure does take up a lot of my time you know. dont say it doesnt take up yours.

but then again, why am i explaining myself to you knowing that you'd be too keras kepale to understand my situation. thats cause i want to, cause ur my best friend, or at least you used to be, cause i REALLY want you to understand. it breaks my heart, no, wrong phrase, it makes me fucking mad at you when you blew me off at MSN.

then it occur to me that this was partially my fault. if i have the guts to say Sorry to you, would you say sorry too? the sad thing is, i dont know the answer to that question anymore. so Houston, we have a problem!

but since im pretty mad at you right now, so i shall rant. his best friend might have doing pretty awful things once upon a time, yeah, i get that, and he may still be doing you wrong by not explaining to you what really happened during the 'case of the missing faiz handphone incident' or apologizing for not smacking rahmat right across his face which frankly what he actually deserves but gurl, its in the past. get over it. ever since i hang out with him, he sure seems like a decent guy to me. maybe thats because im not allowing past mistakes clouding my memory. what happen to second chances gurl? i didnt allow myself to be bias against him for what he did to you and yeah, it sure help things a lot.

think about it gurl.. think real deep about what i just said.. maybe it'll help you understand my situation. if it doesnt, then you're really are selfish and a hypocrite..