before some of you might think that im copying zizie on being philosophical, im assuring you im not. im just wondering though, we're given this holidays to study right? to buck up and catch up in our studies right? but how come im not taking it as seriously as i should have? yea i've done homework, here and there, but i still have so many reexaminations to sit for at the end of the month and CAs and tests at the beginning of year 2006. but even if its a lot, why am i complaining? i shouldn't be right? in fact thats a lot of things i shouldn't be doing but i am. im always procrastinating, watching tv, reading books that i've already read but read it anyway to avoid doing homwork etc. and the sad thing is, i hav no goals in life! im not compairing myself to others but i cant help envying them. they have actually a goal to strive for, a wish to fulfil but what am i doing. praying each day would just be over and not make full use of this time given to me. hell, i hafta get myself out of home so as to not die of boredom. now THAT is sad. i dont want to be a singer, my voice is not that good, i dont want to be a teacher, hell, i cant stand the stress teachers hafta put up with these days. i dont really know what im good at, not really. and i dont think i would be able to get into a decent JC after olevels. ouhk.. now im panicking. im a good talker, i've been complimented on that once or twice, should i be a radio dj? but im not known to do things spontaneously, or have i? lets ask adam how radio academy was like:

Me: Adam, how was radio academy?
Adam: It was good, a very enriching experience.
Me:What did you learn during ur time there?
Adam: I learn about radio - its history, how the show and programme runs
Me: Did you learn to speak, go on Live or something like that?
Adam: nah, we didn't. but we learn to project and speak though.
Me: aww.. thats disappointing. did you think this programme was worth your money? what is the one thing that you learn that was not taught there? and did it affect your life plan of being a radio dj?
Adam: ...

well ladies and gentlemen, the conversation stopped there because adam claimed that "he almost died during his museum interview". although, i have no idea what has that gotta do with anything. yes adam, you were being vague. and i couldn't understand you. i was naturally, unsatisfied, and moved on to find another person to interview. andy, one of my dearest friends, came to my rescue.

Me: andy, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Andy: a fashion designer.
Me: so what aspires you to be a fashion designer?
Andy: i just wanna be one because i love doing it. also, i like 'Heatherette' designs.
Me: do you think your family will support you?
Andy: no.
Me: but are you going to do it anyway?
Andy: yes, im gonna do it.
Me: good for you! so, are you currently working on your portfolio? and do you think there is a succesful market in singapore for inspiring fashion designers?
Andy: i already have one and i made so many designs. no. (there isn't). im going to new york
Me: what is your target audience? as in whom do u want your clothes to be worned by?
Andy: Women, celebs.
Me: but dont you think there are alredy too many designers designing for celebs and not think out of the box? what would be in your clothing line that stands out from other designers?
Andy: my designs are me and can be worn by fat ppl too.
Me: how accomidating. besides heatherette, whom are your inspirations?
Andy: um... noone else. i like jay from proj runway.
Me: hahax.. i like jays design ideas too. so, thank you for allowing me to interview u. this interview will be posted on my blog soon..

I AM ENLIGHTENED! i can be a reporter! a journalist! i am thinking rationally! that way, i'll be able to travel and work at the same time. People!! I can do this! i really think this would work! thank you god!