i look at her and i see passion, i look at him and i see potential, i look at them and i see hope but when i look at myself in the mirror, all i see is a joke.

im overjoyed for everyone but myself. and the way things seem to be, nothing's ever going to change. i need to get everything out but something is holding me back. doubts, nerves, i do not dare to feel anymore. i should have been mentally prepared, not to get my hopes to high like countless times before. when i see myself, i dont want to see a small, timid girl, scared to face the world anymore. i want to see a girl, whose personality's so vivacious, who everyone can connect with but i dont seem to possess either.

melancholy.